Christmas Isn't Merry for Everyone: A Guide to Surviving the Festive Season

Photo by Greg Weaver on Unsplash

Christmas can be a time of magic and merriment, but for many of us, it brings unique mental health challenges. As the festive lights go up across Cornwall and beyond, it's important to acknowledge that this season isn't always easy. At Kernow Psychiatry, we see firsthand how the holidays can amplify existing mental health conditions and create new stressors, particularly for those with ADHD, autism, and other neurodivergent conditions.

The Christmas Paradox

The festive period presents a curious contradiction. We're told it's "the most wonderful time of the year," yet mental health services consistently see increased demand during December and January. This disconnect between expectation and reality can leave many feeling isolated, as though everyone else is managing brilliantly whilst they're struggling.

The truth is, you're far from alone. Financial pressures, family dynamics, disrupted routines, and the sheer sensory overload of Christmas can affect anyone's mental wellbeing. For neurodivergent individuals, these challenges can be particularly intense.

Common Mental Health Challenges at Christmas

Financial Anxiety With the cost-of-living crisis still affecting households across the UK, Christmas spending can trigger significant anxiety. The pressure to provide presents, host gatherings, and create the "perfect" Christmas can lead to financial stress that lingers well into the new year.

Family Tensions Whilst Christmas cards depict harmonious family gatherings, reality often involves navigating complex relationships, old grievances, and differing expectations. For those who've experienced family trauma or estrangement, the emphasis on family togetherness can be particularly painful.

Grief and Loss Christmas has a way of making absence felt more keenly. Whether you've lost someone recently or years ago, the empty chair at the table can feel overwhelmingly present. Grief doesn't follow a timeline, and the festive season can unexpectedly resurface emotions you thought you'd processed.

Routine Disruption For individuals with ADHD or autism, the disruption to normal routines can be destabilising. Schools close, work patterns change, meal times shift, and the predictable structure that helps many people manage their conditions disappears. This can lead to increased anxiety, difficulty with emotional regulation, and sensory overwhelm.

Practical Strategies for Mental Wellbeing

Set Realistic Expectations Perfect Christmases exist primarily in John Lewis adverts. Give yourself permission to have a "good enough" Christmas. This might mean buying fewer presents, declining some invitations, or ordering a prepared Christmas dinner instead of cooking from scratch.

Maintain Some Routine Even amidst the chaos, try to preserve elements of your regular routine. If you usually exercise in the morning, continue doing so. If you take medication, set reminders to ensure you don't forget doses during busy days. For neurodivergent individuals, maintaining some predictable anchor points in the day can be incredibly helpful.

Create Boundaries It's perfectly acceptable to limit the time you spend at gatherings, take breaks when you need them, or decline invitations altogether. If family dynamics are challenging, consider staying in accommodation nearby rather than with relatives, giving yourself a retreat space when needed.

Manage Sensory Input Christmas can be a sensory assault – flashing lights, loud music in shops, strong scents, and crowded spaces. If you're sensitive to sensory input, plan shopping trips during quieter hours, use noise-cancelling headphones, and create calm spaces at home where you can decompress.

Budget Mindfully Write down a realistic budget and stick to it. Remember that meaningful gifts don't have to be expensive. Consider suggesting Secret Santa arrangements to reduce the number of presents needed, or propose experience-based gifts like walks, homemade vouchers for help with tasks, or simply time spent together.

When to Seek Support

Sometimes, self-help strategies aren't enough. If you're experiencing persistent low mood, anxiety that's interfering with daily life, thoughts of self-harm, or finding that alcohol or substance use is increasing, it's important to seek professional support.

Your GP surgery will have emergency appointments available throughout the festive period. The Samaritans (116 123) operate 24/7, including Christmas Day. For those in Cornwall, the Cornwall Partnership NHS Foundation Trust provides crisis support through the Crisis Resolution and Home Treatment Team.

For individuals with ADHD or autism who find the Christmas period particularly challenging, remember that your needs are valid and important. It's not "making a fuss" to need accommodations or to find certain aspects of Christmas difficult.

Looking After Others

If you're concerned about someone else's mental health this Christmas, simple gestures can make a significant difference. Send a text to check in, particularly on difficult days like Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve. Listen without trying to fix everything. Include people in plans but respect if they decline. Sometimes, just knowing someone cares enough to ask can be a lifeline.

A Different Kind of Christmas

Perhaps this year, we could all benefit from reimagining what a successful Christmas looks like. Instead of perfection, we might aim for presence. Instead of grand gestures, we might focus on genuine connection. Instead of doing everything, we might choose to do what truly matters to us and those we care about.

At Kernow Psychiatry, we believe that acknowledging mental health challenges doesn't diminish the potential for joy during the festive season – it simply makes space for a more authentic, compassionate experience. By being honest about our struggles and kind to ourselves and others, we can navigate Christmas in a way that protects and supports our mental wellbeing.

Remember, there's no right way to "do" Christmas. Whether you embrace every tradition or create entirely new ones, whether you're surrounded by people or choosing solitude, your mental health matters. This Christmas, give yourself the gift of self-compassion. It might be the most important present you receive.

If you're struggling with your mental health this Christmas, please reach out for support. Kernow Psychiatry offers specialist assessment and treatment for ADHD, autism, and other mental health conditions. Contact us to discuss how we can help you navigate not just the festive season, but the year ahead.